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Wow

So most of u already know Shane and I are ttc our 2nd little one.. Its been a reall rough road so far.. I feel so lost lately I feel like im missing something really important... Hopefully this month will be my lucky month

1st donation

Today mommy got to meet a fellow BLM Kendra. Kendra made mommy some hats for mommy to donate to the local hospital in memory of you. the hats are so cute and mommy cant wait to bring them to the hospital. :)

Awhile

O.k so it's been awhile since my last blog sooo whats been happening???? well i allowed a "friend" to stay with me for a month and that bit me and Shane in the ass in the long run. we moved into a new apartment although smaller i love it so much better.. my new year has sucked so far :(.. oh and most of all I MISS MY DAUGHTER.

Four Months

Yesterday we reached four months since our little girl was born and Angel. All day yesterday I sat and watched Daddy lay in bed with the Kittens sleeping in his arms I couldn't help but to think that it should of been you sleeping there. On the brighter side mommy had a lot of love and support from all her BLM friends that showed her that they will help me remember you always. I love having all my new friends because I know when I have a rough day they will be there for me :)... I love you Gabriella and Miss you so much... until we meet again Sleep well my Little Angel...

Mommy's 1st Really Good day

So this morning mommy Signed onto FaceBook Like I always do after you left. But Today was different Mommy actually felt good about things today. After posting my Status I read my Tarot card Which Validated the way I felt this morning, I thought it was really weird so I called Daddy who went to an Appt. and told Daddy, Daddy said that he had something similar happen to him this morning. I thought could this be a Sign? Well tonight Daddy had a job interview so mommy decided to go Sit with her Neighbor downstairs, Well little did Mommy know that it would lead to a "party" I had such a good time for the 1st time since you passed away. When mommy and Daddy finally decided to go home Mommy's Horoscope mentioned the "party". Now I know it was my Sign from you. I LOVE YOU GABRIELLA...

                                                  LOVE ALWAYS
                                                  MOMMY

What Is a Mother?

I seen one of my BLM friend's blog post about "What Makes a Mother?" I really started thinking about it!!! Am I any less of a Mother because my daughter didn't have a Chance to live??? I feel like a Mother I went through LABOR to deliver my daughter, Yes she was Stillborn but I carried her for 28 weeks 4 days she Lived in my body but according to the definition A Mother is as follows:

"~A mother can be a woman who conceives, births, and raises a child given to her by God. She is what we as a society see as a mother.

~A mother can be a young woman who finds herself pregnant, unable to parent, who chooses life for her child by placing him for adoption. In choosing life for her child she becomes a mother. She will not be that baby’s parent but she is his birth mother.

~A mother can be the one who prays for a baby she does not carry in her womb. She becomes the mother and parent to a child given in adoption. She is there in the night, in sickness, in health, in joy, and in sadness. She is her mother.

~A mother can be a woman who takes on the care of another’s children through foster care or guardianship. She gives her life to loving them. They see her as mother."

No where on there does it mention carrying a baby that you don't get to take home. SO BY DEFINITION I AM NOT A MOTHER?? COME ON I'M JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER  WOMEN WHO CARRIED A STILLBORN WE ARE MOTHERS TO ANGEL BABIES!!!!!

(thank you Cally for sharing the definition)